I had a chance encounter with a wealthy New Zealander recently. We were both holidaying on one of the beautiful islands in the South Pacific when we met and ended up being invited back for drinks a few days later.
One child stayed back with family and one came with us – intrigued to meet a “Sir”. Another couple, locals, joined us and they proved to be fascinating company and we learned alot in the time we spent together.
Our host, on the other hand, was a cantankerous git who verbally abused his preschool daughter in a way that was totally unacceptable. The child clearly wanted attention, we’ve all been there, but usually a cuddle and “play quietly next to me” does the trick. We “guests” shared horrified looks but not one of us stood up to our host and told him that what we thought.
Had he been a “poor” man would we have felt more able to step up?
The elder child got on well with ours and they had a blast – but on the drive back to our digs we were proud that she was able to see that the older child’s behaviour was driven by insecurity and low self esteem. She could see that despite “having everything” the child actually had very little.
I was shamed by my own inaction. By not standing up to a bully one validates the bully’s actions and we were so aware of the social hierarchy and the importance of our host in my husband’s professional life that we failed to protect the child.
You never know how you will act until faced with a circumstance but having had this experience I hope that next time I’ll be that much braver.
Auckland and more 